Monday, June 29, 2009

Back From Heart

Heart was good - very good.

To be surrounded by christian women.

To see the beauty of women that were happy to be themselves not conformed to the latest fashion magazine.

To enjoy company that can laugh at the chaos that homeschooling brings to our daily life and see the good that we are achieving in our hidden insignificant corners.

To realize that I am not alone, not one of a crazy few, but one of many, loving, beautiful women.

To rest in a consistent message "Trust God".

To realize the cost of trying to live up to others expectations, rather than to simply do what God has given to do. I cannot achieve what God has given, Jane and Jenny and Martha and... to do I can only do what he has given me to do. And I can rejoice in the things that we are doing well rather than take them for granted to push on and do even better.

To realize it is not too late to undo the damage of striving to be accepted, successful, good enough.

I've come home to the peace of being able to take time to clear my desk, relax in a unit study, a very off the cuff, meandering study that will give us focus not chaos, connection not argument, but give me time to catch my breath.

I'm looking forward to rebuilding our confidence, and I'm enjoying being alive, being mum, learning and living.

I'm looking forward to seeing God as in control, real, involved rather than something lost in a maze of good ideas, self help books and being sucessful.

I'm looking forward to a journey that probably won't end up where i intended but will end up somewhere good.

Lots to process lots to write about... sots of need to rest and think and sleep and love.

Valda

No comments: