Tuesday, November 17, 2009

What a difference a day makes.

Today was one of the first days in weeks where school got happy again. I have no idea why our learning times turned upside down. Was it looking at what others were doing and trying to do thier thing. Maybe, was it change that just didn't quite bring the kids along with it. Maybe. Just a bad run of not quite knowing what I was ding, maybe. It could have been as simple as having changed enough that my homeschool planner couldn't cope. That could be it in a nutshell.

Through the process I have learned that my esteem is inexplicably tied into the quality of our learning times. Whether its respect issues, joy, laughter or unity it has a huge effect. A good friend has suggested that I address this ... food for thought.

But it was good to have us working together, to have the freedom to learn and enjoy, and to not have the pressure to rush. Even with one child needing to work in thier own space, one heading down with chickenpox and only one settling down to work it was good to enjoy doing what we do. It's been a long time. Hopefully we are in a better place and can enjoy going forward.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Snowed under

Figuratively that is.

Over the last few weeks life has become incredibly complex and busy. Yesterday is the first time I managed in months to clear my desk and feel ready and awake for the new week. The kids dutifully took the bait of extra computer time to help out and finish off their school work for Friday.

Yes a clean slate for the week ahead.

The week has also been one of blessings, good friendships and the ability to sort out the misunderstandings off life, and yes there were misunderstandings.

Deep feelings that reminded me of all the stuff you work at forgiving and move on from , which just maybe hasn't been completely forgiven.

And stirring up the depths - the looming possibility of a church split ... the stuff you hope isn't real, that you really don't want to deal with. That you hope you can cope with as message after message is more about how we can do what we feel is right than about seeking truth.

Right now my clean slate isn't all that clean. Home church sounds so good. Not having to wade through controversy after every Sunday, not feeling like each week you are being forced to take a position that you don't agree with. Not being manipulated.

God is good, he is in control, and we can trust him. Just now I wish that I knew where the next few weeks were leading.