Getting to the Heart of it

It seems that all to often I find my self changing curriculum because what we are dong has gotten to hard - or more specifically because the resistance has reached a point where I don't know what to do next.

For my daughter we seem to have reached the end of that phase she has enough of the basics down that learning languages has become fun, maths is slowly getting there and her reading is at a standard where she can enjoy at least some of what I ask of her.

My youngest simply gets on with it, he does what he does does it well and unless he is tired or confused can almost school on auto pilot.

My middle son greets each day with a pile of excuses and frowns. Nothing is good with school for him, and slowly over time he wears down my best intentions to come along side and take it at his pace. Eventually we find ourselves in a cycle where neither of us can give up the fight - the battle to be accepted as mum vs. an independent and persistent spirit. Once I get angry he will work, work well acheive and feel good about himself, but that doesn't change the inborn part that simply doesn't want to do school or dishes, or put away his things.

We have fallen into a cycle, a largely destructive one in which I try and be loving and gentle and he patiently waits for it to go bad again... which after a couple of hours of passive resistance it generally does. The cycle leaves both of us guilty, angry, hurt and depressed. It doesn't do much for the rest of the family either.

So where to find the energy to give it another go ... or is it time to send him off to school let someone else have a try, enjoy the honeymoon as he responds to someone else.

Out loving him seems to be beyond me, I cannot seem to love him enough to be content that he says "no" to school and to helping out with the rest of the family. Giving in and letting him have his own way seems unproductive. Given the choice to unschool and read science books all day receives a "I promise to be a good boy now just let me do school like the others." That is quickly forgotten the next time I ask him to come to the table. Prayer helps but slowly. Sometimes it seems like the relationship is beyond repair, sometimes at least till the day has a new start it is.

I usually end up wishing we could start over... go back to the beginning and take all that we have learnt with us.